Well said pleasurepear13! We agree 100%. This site seems to attract a lot of “newbies”, and it’s hard to find anyone serious about meeting. We use another site for more local (Ontario) couples, but continue to use this one as many find it first as they explore the LS, and it’s a still a good way to find new people in our local area.
We've met plenty of real people through the site. But unfortunately takes lots of "weeding".
The easiest way is by going to organized group events where you never know who you'll find (but at least you know that everyone there is real, and not hiding behind a keyboard, and face-to-face meeting is instantaneous). 
We agree pleasurepear15! For every ten couples we message, we meet about one or two. After a year of doing this, we are spending less time on SH and focusing on meeting people at parties. It is so much easier to meet a bunch of couples face to face. You know within a few minutes if there is a spark -- it's so much better than sending messages back and forth.
As with most sites, we find that if 10 couples experss some interest , there is a chance in actually meeting 1 of them. It's about 1 in 10 ! We're here to meet others for fun activities. We are not super picky, but expect partners to be HWP, and reasonably attractive. We don't mind younger couples as long as BOTH want to play with an older one. Winks , flirts, and hello's are fine, but we are here to meet , have a few drinks, some conversation, and great sex !
We’ve had success with single men several times, and in fact have met up several times with the same few. However, couples has been a struggle for us. A couple of hiccups, like ghosting or the other couple wanting girl/girl only (which is a okay, as long as my man gets some fun too !). We’re also finding it tough to find a 4 way connection, which is ultimately what we would like (same room, full swap). We’ll keep searching, and be hopeful ;)
We've never met anyone directly off of this site but we have met people from different sites. Finding people to mesh with can be difficult. For example, I find a profile that is interesting but as I read on it says that they aren't interested in smokers. We smoke so I won't bother sending a message or if they've messaged me I'll make them aware and that's usually the end of it. Same with swing status, how you play etc.
We're up for meeting most people as long as they understand what we do and don't do. We prefer to meet at our favourite club (M4) so of course anyone is welcome. It makes it easy if there is a connection but also if there isn't you aren't stuck with us.
Pray tell which site do you speak of ? We have been on a local one for almost 8 years that is ok, but the chat on it is worse than awful, and it is beoming more and more inundated with a poisonous demographic every week.
We would be very interested in hearing about another good local site. Spread the love.
Have not met anyone from this site. I think I could have/would have, except for distance and scheduling issues (some mine and some the other party). Most frustrating is last minute cancellations, which I interpret as 'cold feet'.
Have met couples and singles from other sites in the past such as fourcities, backpage, craigslist, lavalife, pof, but they have all either faded away or have had personal ads shut down by US govt edict.
Main successes for me these days seem to be friend introductions and revisiting prior dates.
All that said, I do enjoy the chat, pics, and videos on this site.
There goes the weekend booty call !
We have met quite a few locals from this site. Last year a couple hosted a meet and greet and there had to be atleast 25 couples, all members on here. We have developped great bonds with a few of them who we are now happy to call friends ( FWB ) . We have had a few back out of meeting , but the majority of people who have asked us to meet ( or we asked them) , have agreed to go out for dinner or drinks .
We like to. but we are a little older than you want.. best of luck
I've met several couples (and some singles) on SH, and most of those I've met have had success meeting other couples (and singles), so it's hardly rare for it to happen here on SH. There are two notable difficulties that have perhaps not been mentioned and there's one very useful feature that has not been brought up that can help tremendously.
The first difficulty is statistical; namely that the number of people curious about the Lifestyle always exceeds the number of people actually willing to take the plunge. So invariably, a large number of correspondences or lengthy chatting sessions, will lead nowhere because so many couple - even some which are genuinely interested - are not quite ready to pull the trigger (and some people never work up the courage to agree to meet or else agree but then get cold feet and back out).
The second difficulty is that couples seeking couples are in fact seeking something that's nearly as hard to find as those precious 'unicorns'. For couples to hit if off, either in correspondence or in person, they need to feel that 4-way chemistry, where all 4 people find each other suitably attractive and interesting. Given that we're not talking about playing bridge here, that's a pretty tall order. Very often one couple is into it and the other not sure, or half of one couple (just one person out of the four) is not quite on board, and so they hem and haw and the correspondences and chatting and photo exchanges get drawn out needlessly long. This is why, despite so many couples saying they are looking for a couple, many of them have much greater luck meeting just one person for a 3way. It's not nearly as difficult to find a 3rd, but couples are wise not to advertise the fact that they are looking for a third, if looking for a male, since they will be inundated with messages, winks, album invites, etc.
Fortunately, there is a feature here on SH which can help (though it's not a universal solution), and that is the 'vouch' function. Look at a person's profile and see if he, she, or they have any vouches from others on the site. People who have vouches are people who, typically, have at least gone to meet others (or played with others), so you know they are not likely to be fake accounts, posers, or people who are so nervous they can't summon the nerve to meet. If a profile has been active here for years and they have no vouches yet, chances are they are not the ones who will actually get around to meeting you, but are instead not quite there and getting vicarious erotic fun from being on the periphery of the lifestyle.
So, my advice to all those who are finding it hard to find people who actually want to meet for a drink or a coffee, and are instead getting frustrated by endless correspondences, is just look to see if a profile has vouches. If someone is vouched for by others, then you are pretty much assured that they are not game-players, not posers, not unprepared to meet yet, but actually will agree to a meet and greet after some reasonable correspondence.
Cheers.
Come out to an event, keep your eyes on the calendar for something that interests you and is close. We hosted at Oasis this past weekend, 18 couples joined us and several were from SH. But yes, this site is a bit hit n miss.
No surprise that most people feel the same issues. Many single men feel no one meets. Couples spend a lot of time in banter among people who are always to busy to meet, or have something always come up at the last minute. it's the game of numbers so you single guys are /2 of what's here, so you dudes have a lot of competition among your pears. The strangest thing is the amount of no shows we hear about from single women. 2/3 of the men never show up after pursuing the woman for weeks, like ???
We never payed much attention to the vouches but can understand how they work. We think we would rather not have the vouches on our profile, we are strong believers in the " don't kiss and tell". Your basicly saying we have been with these people..... we understand it may have been to play bridge, but most will assume it was a sexual meeting.
Everyone will have their own way of interpreting vouches. There's no need to blurt out "we fucked, they were great!" and we wouldn't assume that's what happened based on a "vouch" (I need to check if you need to add text when you do it). A simple "these people/person is real" or "met them at [fill in the blank]" can be enough. We do that for people who attend our events. Our perspective is a "vouch" testifies you're not just a picture collecting, endless chatting keyboard jockey It's not perfect but it's a start...
Mr OFL
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
OK, but no vouches, 3yrs of membership, 3 pages of "friends", not one. It's just an illustration of the what we're discussing. Many of us aren't using the features the site has to help us...we're our own worst enemies !
Lots of places to meet people, clubs are just a one. Our Meet n Greets are in vanilla bars and Supper Clubs are at different restaurants each time. House parties, dates, etc, etc, etc. I think the point MuskokaMale was trying to make was the site has the "vouch" feature, it rarely gets used, it's a valuable tool when it is because it helps identify real people vs picture collecting, endless chatting keyboard jockeys (i'm copyrighting that).
Mr OFL
(if we meet, tell us your profile name, we'll add a vouch on your profile)
It seems few people know about the vouch feature, and few people make use of those kinds of features. Just like very few have verified, even the ones I know for a fact are real. You do have to be friends to vouch for someone and I'm pretty sure you have to write something. I vouch for people I've met in real life. There is no reason to assume what kind of relationship we have with anyone I've vouched for. Most of my real life friends are in the lifestyle and we've only played with a fraction of them. The only thing you can assume from our friend list is that I have met them in real life. Considering I host meet and greets, the only thing that tells you is that they show up in the real world. And that's just us. Other people might have a different friend policy. Making assumptions is almost always a bad idea.
We use the "vouch" feature, not as a "kiss and tell", but rather "we have met these people, and they are real". It's the least we can do for others. We expect them to return the favor and vouch for us as well, but several haven't bothered. Vouching doesn't mean we slept with them or even fooled around, or whether it was good or bad. It simply means "they are real". We hope people also use that feature in a similar manner.
Yes, we generally look at the verified and vouches on a profile. If the account is several years old and has no vouches and is not verified, it's obvious to us not to have too much faith in the profile/people. So far, in our interactions with profiles that are not validated, they promptly ghost after asking for some form of verification. Fool me once... shame on me... you know the saying... Eventually we just don't bother trying to connect with profiles that aren't forward and open and verified...
We are of the opinion, that if you are a "for real" couple, then you will make every effort to stand out from the crowd of fakes on here. So fill out your profile, get yourselves "verified", and vouch for people you've met, and have them vouch for you!
Make it easy for cool people to find you!
We rarely meet people one-on-one (or two-on-two) until the second (or third or fourth) meet. First meet is almost always at an event. My husband and I live several provinces apart so our time together is extremely restricted. I'm not willing to invest that limited time in a stranger (no matter how hot their pics are) and I don't chat online. I use this site to reconnect with people we've met at events.
Sites like this have plenty of pic collectors, online chatters, tire kickers, and fakes. But there are most definitely real people here. In my opinion, the quickest way to find other real people is to go to an event. I hosted a local meet and greet last night. We had 38 people in attendance. Six of those heard about the event here. Several of those who knew about the event through other channels also have a profile on this site. Some of those that didn't have a profile here, plan to create one now.
The event was advertised on here and 4 other sites and also through word of mouth. Most people that were in attendance heard about it through word of mouth or a very active local FB group. The rest were evenly spread across swinger websites.
You might not meet a specific person you've had your eye on at an event. But if you put yourself out there, you will meet plenty of real people. And the more swingers you know, the more you'll meet. It's all about networking.
Yeah the solo guys on here are dreamers, barely available cheaters and pic collectors.
Tend to agree with other people here... the ratio seems to be about 1 in 10: from 10 couples that we start talking to, probably we end up meeting one to play . It’s not that bad, considering all the other factors discussed above, like that each of us is looking for something slightly different. It is a bit of work, albeit a pleasant one :). The secret is to have no expectations whatsoever, all the way to the end.
