Does anyone actually meet here on SH

I have met a few couples and single females through my time here at this site as a single male. 

I'm an older male looking for an affair on this site so you would naturally expect my experience to be dismal at best. Have I been ghosted? Yes. Rejected? Yes. But I have also had some great conversations and Information exchanges from topics ranging from sexuality to Christmas cake. (Seriously) In the few months on this site, I've had encounters with only one wonderful Lady which has more than made up for the rejection. (No vouch though... damit) my point is?...that I choose to be honest here, and I'm looking for real people so I'm willing to take my time, endure the ghosting and find the right circumstances. 

Very helpful convo folks.

Some people eat, sleep, and dream about swinging so they are always looking.  For us, it's more of a vacation.....something we do a couple of times a year to enjoy a break from the day to day routines of life.  Just like going on vacation, you are always looking for a destination to go......so too we like to look for interesting people that we might want to connect with.  It is tough finding people who you connect with, but that does not stop us from looking.

I'm going to say no, because we have have run into allof of "fake" couples and some females with cold feet, thinking clubs are going to be our best bet

just ran across this post. We have the same question here. Seems that there are a lot of people looking at profiles but afraid to even chat. A simple conversation does not have to lead to anything else. Also there are a lot of guys pretending to be a couple. To those guys Just being honest and polite will get you a lot further. 

Seems to be a lot of chatting and no serious people about meeting.

Frustrating sending messages and knowing they look at your profile and not even the decency to say hello or reply at all.

totally agree lots of lookers no meeters

When it comes to meeting people on any of these sites we have learned one thing is paramount; be patient. It can be fustrating until you accept that not everyone is on the same page and many can be deceptive.

There's also aredballoon which organizes meetups, but it's pretty new and not very busy.

It depends on what niche fits you. Going to a club you’ll see 30-50 people from this site. A house party about the same. A hotel fuck party you generally see a couple. Now meeting one on one you may be most comfy with but texting and chatting and matching schedules takes way longer. Now I’m not saying go to an event to play, I haven’t played at an event in over a year but I love going to meet people. Dance, chat face to face, no expectations, go home. Try gatherings of whatever sort, if it’s not your deal don’t return. Always remember, if you feel pressure you may be in the wrong place.

I think a big part of the problem too is that a lot of couples want to “date you” as a couple. I don’t want to go to dinner with someone 5 times before they decide that they do or don’t want to do things with you. I’m in a relationship with my husband, I’m not looking for a long term 4 way spread.

^^^^^

But many are...and then there’s everything in between from FWB to DTF. And luckily for the GTA LS community there are lots of choices when it comes to venues to find what works best for you. The clubs (OZone, Oasis, XClub, M4) and LS sites have their own vibe, client base and themes and private parties, depending on the host, offer the same opportunities. A bit of patience and perseverance and you’ll find something that works for you. It’s a bit unfortunate about this site, forums aren’t used enough to be useful while chat is a great feature and well used.

I (female half) did a survey a while back that I posted to several sites. More swingers were interested in FWB than NSA swinging. However, BOTH types complained about how hard it was to meet people online, regardless of the site. That's just the way it is. Go to events. If you want to meet and fuck, go to an on-premise event. If you want to meet and get to know people, go to meet and greets. Plenty of people that attend my events are on this site, but I didn't meet them here. If you want to fuck people or meet people in real life, then the best way to find people who want the same things is to get out there in real life. Period.

And if there is no event in your area, create one. Stop saying, "Someone should organize something." This is a sore point for me. I get it. There are so many reasons why you can't. Yeah, me too. But if you aren't willing to get off your ass and do it yourself, don't complain about the fact that no one else is doing it.

@ourfantasylife ~ Basic members can't post to forums. I'm not sure that really matters, though. Even on sites where it's free to use forums, only a small percentage of members actually post.

one can only hope !! At least I'm still hoping to meet ! its not easy for sure. SH does seem to be better than other sites !  here's to lots of smiling !

this site has not exactly been a gold mine for us. So many pic collectors. You, me, everybody is a mash up of their mom and dad nothing you can do about that. Who you are you own 100%.Ken and Barbie might be wonderful people but for their attitude.  I recognize people have preferences and specific interests but dont ask for a pic without sending one. 

Not interested in feeding your masturbation fantasies. Enjoy the shallow end of the pool. 

Having never paid for sex I'm unsure how those "professionals" on here do it. We enjoy house parties, trying to put together a simple coffee date with some, you would think you were arranging a wedding. 

Chatted  for 2 weeks about interests and such no pics with the Ms of my current couple. 

No shame on the brave who post many intriguing photos. Guess there are some who appreciate some or all the dic pics.

@JSQUARED, completely agree, it’s the reason we started hosting events (Meet n Greets, dinners and at clubs). We’re firmly in the FWB camp but completely understand that everyone has their own approach and journey. 

—-

We don’t invest heavily in chatting/texting, for us it’s all about the chemistry and we don’t get that from text, we like to meet real people, in person and see where things go. This is for fun, we’re not in a rush.

I think people expect too much from sites like this. Not everyone who turns you down, ignores your message, or fails to meet is fake or a pic collector. Some are new and nervous. Some are just checking the place out. Some are looking for online chat and nothing more. Some are super busy people and have very little free time. Sometimes people think they want this, but then they chicken out. Sometimes there is a miscommunication between partners. Sometimes vanilla responsibilities get in the way.

Not everyone is using the site the same way. The sooner people understand that, the happier they will be.

Personally, I use the site to look up profiles and contact people I've already met in real life. And I've met a LOT of people by getting out there in real life.

Quote by jSquared101
I think people expect too much from sites like this. Not everyone who turns you down, ignores your message, or fails to meet is fake or a pic collector. Some are new and nervous. Some are just checking the place out. Some are looking for online chat and nothing more. Some are super busy people and have very little free time. Sometimes people think they want this, but then they chicken out. Sometimes there is a miscommunication between partners. Sometimes vanilla responsibilities get in the way.
Not everyone is using the site the same way. The sooner people understand that, the happier they will be.

Personally, I use the site to look up profiles and contact people I've already met in real life. And I've met a LOT of people by getting out there in real life.

 well said

Quote by motley15
Seems to be a lot of chatting and no serious people about meeting.
Frustrating sending messages and knowing they look at your profile and not even the decency to say hello or reply at all.

being a single male you may not understand, but women and even couples get bombarded with e-mails ect from single males continually , even though the 1st thing on their profile is "WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SINGLE MALES".  Now we are all for politeness, but it goes both ways. If your messaging someone who you can't even be bothered to read their profile , or you do but message anyway and they don't respond don't get your panties all in a bunch. And the old "well I just thought you may have changed you mind, or I'm gods gift to women gets a little tedious after the 1st thousand times. 

Quote by jSquared101
@ourfantasylife ~ Basic members can't post to forums. I'm not sure that really matters, though. Even on sites where it's free to use forums, only a small percentage of members actually post.

forums for the most part on every site are dead for good reason. Too many posts by too many people. Many are only 1 post so wading thru them takes more time than most people can afford to wast in their busy lives. 

I'm very detail-oriented. Not many people are. Have you ever seen that meme about Alicia who is selling apple pies? I experience that phenomenon multiple times a day. Sure, some people don't read profiles at all. But I think a lot of people "think" they read profiles. They just don't absorb what it's really saying. Or they think they are going to be the exception to the rule.

As for writing profiles, many people don't have good writing skills. Other people don't care because they don't use their profile to find matches. And some people really aren't sure what it is that they want.

As a Meet and Greet organizer, I talk to a LOT of newbies. A lot. Many people get into the lifestyle thinking that the thousands of couples they see on some site are all looking for the same thing. They are just as eager. Just as available. Connect with new people in just the same way. Have just the same play style. Some people quickly wake up to reality and adjust. Many don't.

And this is not unique to swinging, BTW. I see the same thing in the kink world. And I see the same phenomenon occurring in the business world, too.

People who realize the value of networking and who put themselves out there will find what they are seeking. You get out of it what you put into it.

Pro Tip: People like me get a feel for people based on their forum posts, on any site. People who whine and complain in public are shooting themselves in the foot. I've seen it happen again and again.

Quote by nudebeachbums
forums for the most part on every site are dead for good reason. Too many posts by too many people. Many are only 1 post so wading thru them takes more time than most people can afford to wast in their busy lives. 

That does seem to be true of "dating style" sites. It's not, however, true of more social sites like FetLife or Facebook. I belong to some groups that are quite active. But it's always just a small percentage of the members that actually post. And you know what? The members that post often become well known and sought after. Unless they are posting negative stuff all the time. Those people are shooting themselves in the foot.

Quote by jSquared101

Quote by nudebeachbums
forums for the most part on every site are dead for good reason. Too many posts by too many people. Many are only 1 post so wading thru them takes more time than most people can afford to wast in their busy lives. 

That does seem to be true of "dating style" sites. It's not, however, true of more social sites like FetLife or Facebook. I belong to some groups that are quite active. But it's always just a small percentage of the members that actually post. And you know what? The members that post often become well known and sought after. Unless they are posting negative stuff all the time. Those people are shooting themselves in the foot.

We hear what your saying, but your getting off track from the original forum post now. People get confused easy enough already without bringing more content into the discussion. 

Quote by nudebeachbums

Quote by motley15
Seems to be a lot of chatting and no serious people about meeting.
Frustrating sending messages and knowing they look at your profile and not even the decency to say hello or reply at all.

 

being a single male you may not understand, but women and even couples get bombarded with e-mails ect from single males continually , even though the 1st thing on their profile is "WE ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SINGLE MALES".  Now we are all for politeness, but it goes both ways. If your messaging someone who you can't even be bothered to read their profile , or you do but message anyway and they don't respond don't get your panties all in a bunch. And the old "well I just thought you may have changed you mind, or I'm gods gift to women gets a little tedious after the 1st thousand times. 

First of all I was part of a couple before and do know how many emails are received but at least we acknowledged a message and responded. At least a thanks but no thanks message. When If I ever do get a response saying they aren't interested I do not follow up with a "change your mind" email. I do not respond to a "not interested in single males" because I actually read the profile before sending a message.

So before you quote and lecture me about the etiquette maybe consider some common courtesy when receiving messages.

Quote by nudebeachbums
We hear what your saying, but your getting off track from the original forum post now. People get confused easy enough already without bringing more content into the discussion. 

Well, that's one opinion. The topic is: "Does anyone actually meet here on SH". That can be answered in one word, "Yes". No need for the other 65 answers.

However, there are a number of implied questions in there. Such as, "How do people meet on SH?" And I'm here to say that participating in forums can get you noticed.

Quote by motley15
First of all I was part of a couple before and do know how many emails are received but at least we acknowledged a message and responded. At least a thanks but no thanks message. When If I ever do get a response saying they aren't interested I do not follow up with a "change your mind" email. I do not respond to a "not interested in single males" because I actually read the profile before sending a message.
So before you quote and lecture me about the etiquette maybe consider some common courtesy when receiving messages.

I understand your position. However, I disagree on the topic of what constitutes common courtesy. Rudeness is subjective. Politeness is subjective. Expecting a response demonstrates an entitled attitude in my book. No response IS a response. Just because I post my profile on this site does not mean that I owe anyone anything.

Quote by jSquared101

Quote by motley15
First of all I was part of a couple before and do know how many emails are received but at least we acknowledged a message and responded. At least a thanks but no thanks message. When If I ever do get a response saying they aren't interested I do not follow up with a "change your mind" email. I do not respond to a "not interested in single males" because I actually read the profile before sending a message.
So before you quote and lecture me about the etiquette maybe consider some common courtesy when receiving messages.

I understand your position. However, I disagree on the topic of what constitutes common courtesy. Rudeness is subjective. Politeness is subjective. Expecting a response demonstrates an entitled attitude in my book. No response IS a response. Just because I post my profile on this site does not mean that I owe anyone anything.

I was not referring to you in the quote.

However we agree to disagree and No response can be interpreted whichever way the 2 parties interpret it.

If you post an ad and don't intend to respond to interested parties then maybe shouldn't post at all

Quote by motley15
If you post an ad and don't intend to respond to interested parties then maybe shouldn't post at all

I'll agree with you there. To me, when you post an actual ad, that's an implied invitation to contact them. When I invite people to contact me, I do respond.