I've been looking into these two realms as well. I first heard of Cuckolding from the John Irving novel, The World According to Garp, but didn't quite get it. Then in an episode of Letterkenny there was a couple that talked about it so I did a bit of researching. Like some of you here I was not turned on in the least about the elements of humiliation and beta-male, etc of Cuckolding. But in some of those posts I heard a reference to HotWifing and THAT felt more like a good fit for me! At this point, it's only in theory since I haven't experienced either C or HW. I loved the idea of HW in that at its core is this idea that the couple both derive pleasure from the dynamic: the man loves enabling his wife to have new partners and gets off on her pleasure knowing how exciting that is for her. The woman, of course, relishes the fact that she doesn't have to cheat or go outside her relationship in order to experience something/someone new, and actually has permission and acceptance from her man. How liberating!
It seems there is such a range of how they experience all of this. Some men like to send their wife off to the other man and stay behind at home and she sends him texts, photos, videos, and other various ways of teasing him about how exciting this all is. Then she comes back to her main man and shares with him all about what happened and they channel that excitement into THEIR sex life. Knowing your woman is wanted and desired by other men can be a HUGE turn on!
Other men like to actually go out with their woman and help either chose a potential partner or at least help seal the deal with the man his woman chooses...assures him it's all on the up and up and he's game. Some then go with and watch from the door, or sit in a chair and watch, while others like to be part of the action...at the request of the woman. Again, in whatever way they choose to act out this kink they ultimately channel all that hot energy back into their own sex life. Win-Win-Win!!!