ABOUT ME – Hi. I would best describe myself as quirky, although my shrink prefers the word bipolar (but what does she know, eh). I own and operate a lemonade stand in the summer, while in the winter I travel with fairs as a carney. Most of my friends would describe me as a lazy bastard, and if I am honest, I would have to agree. Not that my lemonade stand isn’t a stressful job, but I like to expend the minimal amount of effort on everything. So if we are a match…don’t expect too much excitement – you likely should be a very lazy person yourself to avoid disappointment. But laziness is good, since I still live in my parent’s basement and they don’t like too much noise. It may sound a bit weird, but living in your parent’s basement at 33 is like a badge of honour for a lazy person.

Hobbies – Buttons and making foil balls.

Likes – Shootin’ critters, building ikea furniture, animals that start with the letter “l”, barn-building bees, rutabaga (see dislikes for swede)

Dislikes – Counter-clockwise, swede (see likes for rutabaga), being alone, being with people, mittens with strings on them.

What I’m looking for – Someone who thinks eating kraft dinner then drinking crappy beer in an alley is a fun date (on special occasions I use the spiral KD). Also, preferably someone with a car. I can ride my bike for a few blocks, but after that I get tired. Otherwise, I will need to ride my donkey, and he is old and slow. Some nights we can dress up like superheroes, with masks and everything. If you don’t know how to fight crime yet, don’t worry, I will teach you. And you don’t have to wear the mask all the time…just on superhero nights. Other nights we can use my lego collection (I have over 20000 pieces) to build a city and then stomp around it like monsters until we get tired. But it’s not all fun and games, I like someone who can talk with me about star trek captains for a ridiculously long time {I will go the grave saying kirk…but am open to other (meaning wrong) ideas}

p.s. please send picture of car