I am outgoing, happy, sexy, smart, kind, funny, beautiful, amazing in bed, a great cook and one of the most amazing people you will ever spend time with. 

I'm bi, 5'3, plus size, beautiful.

My boyfriend is funny, gregarious, handsome, has a killer cock (for the ladies), a fantastic friend, loves craft beer and bbqing and is one of the funnest people you will ever meet.

He's straight, 6'4, tall and lanky and rock-star hot.  (Once at a football game some woman came up to him, confused him with Chad from Nickleback and asked him to sign her tits lol)


We are experienced and open to anything that fits into our sexuality.   We would love to find a single guy who is down for some MFM and is an awesome enough human that I can invite him over for some 1-on-1 when my boyfriend is out of town.  Single women - same thing!  We're also down for making friends with couples - our only limit is no boy on boy action.

If you fail to respect me, my relationship I will dissemble you verbally.

Now - let's get down to what YOU need to do to attract OUR attention.

Send face pictures.  I am not going to browse your secret hidden album.  I don't have time.  If you want to meet the most awesome people in the province, you are going to have to put in the effort, not make me work.

Introduce yourself.  If you don't tell me your name, I'm not talking to you.  I don't talk to strangers.

Be awesome.  I get 20 messages a day that say Hey, how are you?  I delete those and block who they're from.

If you fail once - I block you, so don't think you can give 10% effort and succeed.  You will be disqualified.

As a side note - I am not here to make you feel good about yourself by chatting to or flirting with you.  

Your job is to charm me into agreeing to meet with you - and then hopefully being awesome enough in person that I form some kind of attraction.  

Women are not attracted to physical appearance - we are attracted to mental stimulation.  I'd rather fuck an ugly guy who can make me laugh than an asshole who is pretty - and I have, several times! 

Some tips on pictures: don't take them in your bathroom, smile, dress up a little if you want to impress people, your chest is not attractive boys.  Your pointless nipples are not pretty.  You don't have boobs.  Put a shirt on.  If I wanna look at someone who's topless, its a woman.

If you send me a dick pick - it must be beside a can of coke.  If your penis is smaller than 7.5 inches long, or small enough that I can fit it in my mouth easily, I'm not interested.  Tiny dicks are sad.  I want it to make me choke and stretch my pussy.  

Write to me respectfully, court me you mother fuckers, give 110%

Meow!