We've been in an out of the lifestyle off and on for about 20 years now. In that time, I've found a few truths written between the lines of profiles. While ours is far from perfect (working on it) I thought I'd share what an experienced couple sees when viewing others' profiles.
When I'm reading one, I will usually take a pass on those with endless selfies of the guy - usually with his dick out - all by himself in the bathroom mirror. It makes me wonder...IS there actually a female half? Is she reluctant? Does she even know you've posted that photo of her on a swingers website? I prefer to have faith in humanity but I'm too old to ignore the reality that people...sometimes make poor life choices. There's no way you're fooling anyone that she'll be along later, or she's not feeling well.
Likewise I'm not bowled over by only one apologetic photo of the guy, usually in a mugshot-style pose. I'm (mostly) straight, I've never met you, and this is all I have to go on to determine whether or not there would be any chemistry. A bit unfair, both to me and to you. Do you consider your photo a necessary thorn among the bouquet of roses that are your partner's pics? Because that comes across as a lack of confidence, as though you're just tagging along. You are a king, my dude! Nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean you aren't awesome. So show me who you are, and don't be shy. Haters are a dime dozen, bit you miss out on those who would appreciate you if you let their stupid opinions sway you.
Another tip: I don't need a mug shot of your dick. I really don't. Do you have one? Does it work? Unless the size one way or another affects function, or unless it factors significantly into a kink you're pursuing, I'm fine with leaving that to when we get to know each other better. As mentioned on another post, I'm not thinking about your dick pic over dinner. I'm looking at the whole person, and determining whether or not I like his company, and whether or not I'm looking for excuses to get into his personal space. That's chemistry. Very simple, and the most reliable way to ensure everyone has a good time. Ordinary, functional genitalia are all perfectly acceptable.
Now if want me to slide off my chair, show me your confidence with some good quality, well-edited photos . Your best features. Maybe you've got more of a keg than a six-pack. That's okay. What else have you got? Big shoulders, arms, back, or chest? Pack that into a half buttoned white dress shirt and pair it with a sexy smile. Don't forget other visual erotic triggers, like your hands, that I'd want to feel on me, that spot on your neck that might have me wanting to kiss it. Got a cute butt? And I am a sucker for a guy with thick, muscular thighs. Do you play a sport? Show me! Men moving their bodies is just naturally sexy. Got a clever sense of humour? How about a smoldering gaze? Is your beard flourishing? Got great hair? Tattoos and piercings? As long as you show me that you love and appreciate yourself, that you do your best to take care of yourself, it's 100% okay to be a work in progress like the rest of us.
Looking forward to others' suggestions, too.
