Does everyone stay behind their computer screen

I get that there are a multitude of men on here that may or may not be sincere, but are there any woman or couples that are? I have tried to follow some advice and have been 100% open and honest on my profile, but honesty it seems is a detriment on this site. I either get people who only want pics or people that want to bash me because my wife is not involved. I am being judged! On a swingers site! I guess that because I am not your typical guy here looking for only one thing, people don't know how to respond. I was so happy to find this outlet but that has now turned to disappointment. I have been to the clubs but at this stage the comfort level is not there, so my only option is to chat a bit here with the hopes of a face to face coffee mtg. with those I may connect with. It seems most are happy to stay in their basement and take care of themselves.

Unless I am misreading you seem to be patting yourself on the back for being open and honest with people on this site about cheating on your wife. In our opinion, you would be far better off being open and honest with your wife about being on this site.  For a good many couples on here, cheating be the first thing that would put you firmly on the block list. My wife and I have enjoyed the company of single men in the past and never with anyone cheating on a spouse. Being a swinger does not mean that we don't value integrity and honesty. If that makes us judgemental on this subject then guilty as charged.?

I agree with your statement, both my husband and I come on here as a couple, neither of us come on here without each other, We like to be open and honest and if you can't have that than where does that go in a relationship.

First of all, you are entitled to your opinion and I do respect everyone’s. 

Secondly, you have proven my point about judging. You automatically say I am cheating? You have no idea of what my situation is, yet you jump to that conclusion. Contempt prior to investigation is not a trait I would wish to have. 

I also am certainly not patting my back about anything. My situation is not of my choosing nor would I wish on anyone. I am simply being honest. 

Thank you for your comments and I wish you all only the very best. 

Not sure what you're looking for from this post. However...before you take your toys and walk away...being here as a single male puts you in a group of individuals that are already highly suspicious. You're right, none of us know anything about your situation but for what you're looking for to work you'll *need* to have your spouse engaged. Yes, need. None of us would want to get involved unless your spouse gave explicit permission and we'd want to confirm that. Period. Some of us would just simply move on and not bother (we're in that category), others might engage but it would only be with contact and consent from your partner. Without that we'll assume you're cheating and that's not something any of us want to be involved in. You may fair better on Ashley Madison.

Hope that helps.

Mr OFL

Yes, you are being judged. We all are! EVERYONE looks at a profile and JUDGES whether or not it is someone they would be compatible with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now if someone jumps into your inbox to criticize you, well that's pretty low. Be thankful that they revealed themselves for what they are, block, and move on. There are asshats everywhere. We regularly get people jumping into our inboxes who obviously don't read or choose to ignore what's stated in our profile.

There are plenty of people on here that come out from behind their computer screens. But as I just posted in another thread, it takes a lot of effort and patience to wade through all the other profiles to find the ones who are actually willing to meet in real life. And you are likely to have an even harder time because the odds are stacked against you. Single males are a dime a dozen. And as Mr OFL stated, some couples won't even consider a married man. Some will consider a married man if they can confirm with his spouse. You don't mention that confirming with your spouse is an option, so one would assume that it isn't. That narrows your choices considerably.

Hello, I appreciated this candid exchange. As a single fellow, a new paid member, I was quite unaware of the stigma I'd face here ... alone. I see what happens to those who take a direct approach. That said, it's quite right. This isn't the place for a direct approach. Democracy is on another site. So is Equality. And neither site is Sexy.
I'm a fellow who's good at finding what works and then becoming part of that / a gentle advocate for it.
Here's a Q: Are there single Lady's that flirt about Swinging Heaven for the purpose of Partnering, yet not wanting to be married to a `Him' ? Does that Always happen by her meeting Him via recommend's, given out by the only swing-set in the playground ? Or do single women always free-dance here? There can't be a stigma on that }:[ but I'm jealous Logic says `She' doesn't meet her `He' while going solo at a Partee. Please point to what works. Am I in one of my `Duh' moments ?
A flow-sexual life has been my goal & it seems that's a No-go. I side with Mr. Anonymous on this. While he will have to change his sexy name , maybe he can help me, help Us find Wing-woman. Trying that alone on Tinder or in real-town gets you Turned down. Even with the fore-warning of calling myself FwBen met only rebuke. It makes for a Cold-cup conversation in a coffee shop encounter. I even spent the last year in a nice relationship, predicated on us being a duo and entering into the LifeStyle. Great test sex ensued. We trained for months! But wow, as I invested time and proved my sexual self eager, able and amicable, she began leveraging my desire to her power position. And that felt like....marriage. You know, like sex is always used on men. Well I'd hate to take, dysfunction and a deal-breaker like that into someone else's bedroom... so I've been single & sexless for 6 months, Very Luckily I will NOT both Single and Cheating. Please would all 3 of you consider contributing to my research? It will lessen everyone suffering the scourge of free-Swinging males on SH. I call out ... Who have any A's ? I would love to have Advice on how I can shed my singularity here, finding the like minded wing-Woman of my creams. Wouldn't there be a way to utilize this site? If not your advice would still be helpful. and that includes you Mr. Anonymous, whoever you are. I Suggest we chat as well to see how the single Guys, all suffering here, would meet up in person and go forth as wing-Men attracting wing-Women who then go forth, on all fours aligned with our cocks to a sexponential # of couplings. ha ha ! bon-apotitties!