Attending Private Events

Looking for feedback. From time to time we host events, we always see lots of profiles looking at the events but we rarely get people from SH actually attending. There are some profiles we recognize that have accounts on other LS sites but the majority are profiles exclusive to this site.

So…what’s the tipping point for you to attend an event ? I don’t need to hear about babysitting issues or caring for your aging parent, I want to know what prevents you from coming out to something (new, scared, just looking) and what would be the tipping point for you to attend something.

 Mr OFL

From what I have seen, some events posted here are too short-notice for many. In my own case, I can typically attend even with fairly short notice (less than 2 weeks), but being a single male, it can be difficult for me to find a lady to accompany me on short notice when the host requires everyone to come as part of a couple.

Another important variable is distance and overnight accomodations. Not everyone wishes to drive for 2 hours only to drive back late, so unless it's possible to spend the night or nearby accommodations are suggested, sometimes that will keep me from attending.

But perhaps the biggest obstacle for me is that there is not much detail in the event description about what the hosts are looking for, what sort of fun they are hoping to have, how many they would like to attend, any rules they may have in mind, etc.. In other words, too vague or scanty a description can leave one unsure if one should offer to attend or not.

I hope you have good luck with your next event. 🙂

-MM

Great feedback. If you look at the events we've hosted, what do you think is missing, pick any event you like. I think we've been pretty clear but maybe I'm way off and it's not clear at all. I completely understand the short notice thing, those are more like booty calls than events IMO.

You missed an option

We go , don’t know anybody and want to meet and experience new friends.

We go to many of the private parties but lately many have overflow lists as they fill up having VIP membership to m4

allows us to just go drop-in in have a few drinks socialize at no additional cost 7 days per week, afternoon or evening.

Quote by djbabes
We go , don’t know anybody and want to meet and experience new friends.

I don't understand. I'm asking "what stops you from going".

Went To M4 yesterday huge crowd largest I've ever seen here. Some social; group decided to attend and packed the place.

We would come to any private party for swinger couples. Unfortunately lately we joined varios events with wanna be swingers, events for swingers, kinksters and everything else under the sun, so interests were diverging, and so on. So now we are really wary of joining events, as we know we won’t have a good time. We like smaller events where we know at least some of the people, or we can exchange some messages before to understand what everyone is into.

Quote by funplayinottawa

We would come to any private party for swinger couples. Unfortunately lately we joined varios events with wanna be swingers, events for swingers, kinksters and everything else under the sun, so interests were diverging, and so on. So now we are really wary of joining events, as we know we won’t have a good time. We like smaller events where we know at least some of the people, or we can exchange some messages before to understand what everyone is into.

Reading between the lines a bit here after looking at your profile. You go to events to play and not just socialize. So if it's a "no play" event you'd rather not bother. Maybe the hosts didn't set, or clearly state, the ground rules ahead of time and/or nobody asked. And I assume you ask now so you know what to expect and don't get dissapointed ?

I'm poking at this stuff because I want to know what makes/breaks decisions to attend events, it's not personal in any way, just trying to figure out why we don't see SH members attend events.

I can't help you with 1, 2, 4, 5, 8

6 agree, 7 we don't organize events for profit, 9 we try hard, 10 agree but have never charged a cover, and yes to 11,

And thanks for replying

Quote by funplayinottawa

We would come to any private party for swinger couples. Unfortunately lately we joined varios events with wanna be swingers, events for swingers, kinksters and everything else under the sun, so interests were diverging, and so on. So now we are really wary of joining events, as we know we won’t have a good time. We like smaller events where we know at least some of the people, or we can exchange some messages before to understand what everyone is into.

Love these. We are a bit new and open to invites.

@westgate1, thinking about #5, we find very few profiles adding themselves to events here on SH and the opposite happening on other sites (CD), many profiles signed and 1/3 show. For both these sites we also get many show up that stayed under the radar, they never advertise their interest, they just show up.

All that to say....I don't rely on the event posts, not as a planner or attendee.

A lot of the parties are face book groups now the ones listed fill up quickly or even have a waiting list for next party

I enjoy private events, transportation and or time/distance comes into play. Ride shares among other playmates. Interesting.

Quote by Ronmarie

Went To M4 yesterday huge crowd largest I've ever seen here. Some social; group decided to attend and packed the place.

That would be me! lol!

How do you find out about private parties and get invited? We are looking for parties around london or windsor area .

A lot of party's are on face book. or word of mouth.

Ok thank you. We don't know anyone else in the lifestyle yet so word of mouth is hard. Is there a certain fb group we should try to join ?

Hi All. We’re in the same position and curious how to find these private events as we’d much prefer that over a club. We’re not really club people but love smaller events. Any suggestions on how to find the FB groups? Thanks!

We would love to come to these parties. Though member of clubs too. We are open minded cpl she is Bi curious. Please let us now if any event coming up in April

In case you haven't seen this....we're hosting a Couples Massage Workshop Sat Apr 27
Touch Me, Tease Me
Event info https://www.swingingheaven.ca/parties/touch-me-tease-me-2
Cost $150/couple
To confirm your registration send $150
Details will be sent once your registration is confirmed

Quote by djbabes

You missed an option

We go , don’t know anybody and want to meet and experience new friends.

Agree. We are new to LS and new to house parties. Our first is coming soon. We are looking to meet fun flirting friends.

Great weekend coming up party Saturday night, meet and great Sunday afternoon.

Nice Great weekend coming up party Saturday night where is it a house party meet and great Sunday afternoon where

Great post. Fabulous comments. Thanks. As a newer couple to the LS we've only been to one house party and one hotel party. Our go-to is clubs and meets at our house; until the weekend. A lovely couple vouched for us and we ended up at a hotel parts...five couples and one single male (host). Absolutely fabulous...the host was congenial, respectful and inclusive...and created a superb guest list, allowing us all to mingle before, then in a giant hotel room prepped with snacks, drinks and condoms...and we all had a blast. Our eyes are open to hotel meet ups...with the right host and guests. We are leaning toward smaller, curated events with a closed vouched guest list.

If you'd like to know more, hit us up privately.

OurFantasyLife, I believe we may have received an invite for one of your parties in the past, we were very tempted to come. We don't like high pressured environments, not being to one of yours before, we were unsure if there would be an area before the play areas where we would get a chance to have some light chat with couples/singles, maybe a drink before heading to "play". We are not DTF so some sorta connection before action works best for us. We also are not really big into large group scenes in a room, just not our thing. I guess maybe too many unknowns for us, and not going with anyone made it a hard call for us. CAT x0x0

We are also actively searching for more intimate house and/or hotel parties to attend. We have NO interest in any of the M & G's or the workshops. We want parties that if we connect with someone, we can play but we are not necessarily going to always be DTF either ! But if there's people there that we connect with, we will certainly get down & dirty, lol. We agree with many of the comments made here.....ex. "funtimez"... We would also like some time to get to chat with people that we may possibly have sex with, lol. We are not Ken & Barbie ourselves but we do workout and stay in shape and are looking for the same in others that we might possibly play with so knowing (or more so, seeing) who is going to be at these parties is a big factor for us. We have went to small parties before without seeing the attendees and although everyone is very nice, there was no one that we matched with on a physical level. And although there was no pressure to play with anyone, we still had gone through the effort to clear our schedule, pay a dog sitter, book a hotel, drive there, etc, etc. We don't like to use the term "wasted our time, and money" but we kinda did. We are at a stage now that with just a little notice, we can travel and get a hotel near where a party is happening as long as we have seen the list of attendees and know that there will be at least some potential play partners there...... like funtimez, wink wink.

We are currently considering all invites, lol.

Cheers Fromus.

Quote by funtimez13

OurFantasyLife, I believe we may have received an invite for one of your parties in the past, we were very tempted to come. We don't like high pressured environments, not being to one of yours before, we were unsure if there would be an area before the play areas where we would get a chance to have some light chat with couples/singles, maybe a drink before heading to "play". We are not DTF so some sorta connection before action works best for us. We also are not really big into large group scenes in a room, just not our thing. I guess maybe too many unknowns for us, and not going with anyone made it a hard call for us. CAT x0x0

Our parties are always in vanilla settings so play isn't a thing. Even the Couples Massage was a non-play event, everyone was very respectful (and naked and full of oli and probably horny) but no play happened which is fine, that's not the vibe we go for.

Usually people get to know each other in the living room chat, then choice to play down in basement area fixed up or upstairs in bedrooms.

Hi.
For us, attending a party always comes down to the following...
i) Whom is hosting obviously. Would be be interested in them ourselves?

ii) If they are giving a vibe of "collecting" attendees ie; trolling just to acquire a selection of play partners, that's a huge red-flag for us. We're not interested in being ticked off of a "list" of people they are interested in, then to be discarded because they realize we're not DTF or providing what they want. Unfortunately we have attended gatherings that felt subtly manipulative in that way. If it feels less like an altruistic endeavor & more of a "trolling" experience for them. Hosts should NEVER create events for their own indulgence.

iii) We don't expect to know who the attendees are, but it's nice to have a general idea. Nothing worse than being at an event and realizing one of the attendees is not in a good place with us. that's awkward. So going in "blind" is a turn-off. Many people have others on their "block list" here, who wants to be in a room with people you have blocked. So for us knowing who the other attendees are is helpful.

iv) A host should always make it clear what the expectations & rules are. If it's a designated "Full swap" play party & it's presented as "What happens is up to you", this is disingenuous. False advertising becomes predatory in that sense. Call it for what it is and make it clear that anything else is off limits.

v) Partly related to the above... attending a party where everyone has established play with one another and/or a sexual history together... but you're the "newbie" or "fresh meat". Yes, we want to explore with people sexually, but NOT become part of a "collective".

vi) Gossip. We like an exchange via chat or email with a host before attending. During that chat there are certain things we look for in the way they talk with us, Gossip being a huge red flag. We were invited to an event and during a chat they started bragging about whom they had hooked-up with. Not cool. Private in person conversations about certain experiences will happen, but online gossip is not a good thing.

Maybe these things are more specific than you're question asked, but they stand out to us.
We are interested in gatherings, even leading to private parties. We are NEVER DTF at any first meeting. You want us? get to know us, like you would with dating someone. if we want you it's because we've gotten to know you... and we like you. Doors open up after that and it's far more satisfying being with someone you enjoy the company of non-sexually than just enjoying a piece of ass - so to speak.