So and so liked that you viewed their profile

Does anyone like to know this info? I find these notifications really annoying, especially since I didn't really view their profile in most cases. I just accidentally left my mouse in one spot too long.

I've gotten to the point that I am so paranoid about where I pause my mouse when scrolling. I've actually had to hide a couple of people because it was like there was a feedback loop. I'd accidentally "view" their profile somewhere, they'd like that, I'd accidentally "view" their profile again while scrolling the notifications in our feed, and they'd like that AGAIN.

Really? What does viewing tell you, even IF it was intentional? It's not like I clicked like on anything or commented on anything. To me, it's akin to having someone come over and start talking to me every time I glance in their general direction. If someone thinks I might be "making eye contact" and wants to "hold my gaze", I'd much prefer that they like something of ours or comment on something.

I suppose it depends on whether they are someone you’re attracted to or not, or if you have something in common with them. We scroll right on past those and don’t really worry about it to much.  You can delete them anyone so if it’s an issue for some reason just hit delete

I’m not 100% sure but in your settings I believe you can choose to hide your activities from others, so if you accidentally click no harm no foul 

No, you can't delete the "liked that you viewed their profile" and "liked that you viewed their photo" notices. Or at least, I can't. Maybe that is an Extras option? What I can do is hide all their activity. But then if they actually do like or comment on something, it won't show in my feed.

No, you can't hide your activities from others. I've looked and could not find a setting for that. Since you mentioned it, I thought that it could be an Extras setting, but support says there is no such setting.

I've done some testing and I think I see now why these notices might not be so annoying to others. For most, they are probably just mixed in with a sea of notices. For me, they are the only thing I see. I have set it so that we have 0 matches. I use our feed to read comments and preview messages. When I clear our notifications for messages, comments, and likes, our feed is empty. Or it used to be until these "liked that you viewed" notices started showing up.

Aside from disliking the clutter, I still think it's a bit creepy to "like" that someone glanced in your general direction. If I was interested, I would have liked something or commented on something or sent them a message. All I did was view the mini popup profile.

In any case, it's not the end of the world, but I am curious to know if anyone likes to have this info? If so, do you see it as flirting? Or what?

I think hiding your activities from others IS an "extras" thing.  We have that feature under Profile-->Settings-->Privacy Tab.

There is a checkbox that says "Hide my actions from other members". 

We definitely don't see it as flirting, but we appreciate the comments and the views just tell us that people are stumbling across our profile, and hopefully will reach out if they've read our profile and still feel there is a match.
(BUT So many don't read, and it's more than obvious when when they reach out with a "Wanna fuk" type message )

Cheers,
Mr.

@Friends4Life ~ Good to know about the privacy setting. Strange that support seems to be clueless about it.

I appreciate comments and likes. Views are pretty meaningless to me, especially since the count seems to be broken. I opened another account for testing. One hover (not a click) resulted in the other profile being notified of 20 profile views (not mini profile). No wonder people misconstrue my view as interest. I have found a number of bugs in the activity feed. I've played with my match settings and the results are whacked. I've reported the bugs and they are supposed to be looking into it.

In addition to match bugs, this site promotes bad etiquette by making it extremely easy to message someone without ever reading their profile, and they even suggest it with their match text: "X may interest you because they are a match. Why not take a look at their profile or drop them a message." I'd really like to see them get rid of the "drop them a message" text. I also think they should get rid of the message boxes from the feed, unless it's a message. I think they should get rid of the message button from most places on the site. I think people should have to visit the profile in order to initiate a message.

I'm not naive enough to think that forcing someone to the profile before sending a message will actually make them read it, though. In the end, I try to be thankful that rude and entitled idiots reveal themselves so quickly. The problem is that some people are just clueless about what's considered good and bad etiquette, and I think the site should stop encouraging bad etiquette.

Regarding the "like that you viewed" messages that prompted this post, I don't really know if others see it as good or bad etiquette or just indifferent. I don't know what's going through the minds of people when they click Like on the views in their feed. Do they stop to ponder how it comes across to the other person? To me, it's creepy. Though, I can imagine it as a lame attempt at flirting or that they mindlessly like everything in their feed or they are desperate for attention. Regardless, it turns me off.

@jSquared101 - We completely agree with your suggestions!.  Especially where members SHOULD have to visit a profile before being able to send a message.  It makes for lots of nuisance messages from people taking shots in the dark, and it also trains those of us looking for some quality to generally ignore most everything as 'noise', which we don't think is healthy for most.  (We put our "codeword" to include in a message, at the end of our profile, so we know if a persons message was initiated after reading our profile or not).  It's obvious the site wants to provide as much "virtual-action" as possible between users, at the expense of it being disingenuous.  Seems the 'bad etiquette' is not only being enabled, but being encouraged by the site.

Seems to us, the entire "wink" feature is pointless to members.  (There is a setting (in extras??) to reject incoming "wink" messages (doesn't deliver anything to our mailbox) and bounces a message back to the user to write something instead)... and EVEN with that enabled, every time someone has attempted a "wink", receives the bounce-back message, and then proceeds to write a typical "wanna fuk" message.  It's a <facepalm> just about every time.

We've made similar suggestions to admin, and they keep "adding it to the list", and eventually we see things change, albeit very slowly.  If enough of us keep making the suggestions, hopefully they will listen.

In the meantime, we remain hopeful there are people out there like us, that take the time to read, have similar interests, and will genuinely connect, irregardless of the noise.

  If almost everything about this site is annoying or a neusance than why bother?  Just ignore the things you dont like and don’t worry about rude members.  Delete the message,  block them if you can/want and simply move on. Just like others can’t control your actions, you can’t control theirs. You can’t force others to have manners or be respectful. Sad but very true.  Having admin make changes to things you don’t like means you are attempting to make choices for other people  maybe other members like these features, you have no idea what others want so it’s wrong to assume what you like is the collective opinion.

I think it’s safe to say that if you are a member of this site you at bare minimum have an understanding that everyone here is seeking for some extra sexual fulfillment, they can comment on or like whatever they find sexy/ hot. If it’s offensive you block or ignore and carry on looking for whatever it is you are looking for. I’ve had loads of come fuck me messages, wild shit that is grossly inappropriate,  from people I have zero interest in. View it as flattering, take the compliment and appreciate that someone has found you drop dead sexy ;)  they want to include you in their fantasy   

When we first joined I felt the exact same way, over time I’ve realized and come to appreciate that everyone on here is looking for something that excites them. They’re living out fantasies and having a blast.  Who am I to tell them otherwise?  If I’m not interested I just ignore the noise.  

@Annandbruno24 ~ I'm not saying "almost everything about this site is annoying" and I don't see anyone else saying that either. I also don't see anyone who LIKES to receive rude messages from people who didn't read their profile. I belong to several sites and have been around for years. I have never once seen that. I have seen and heard numerous people say that they do NOT like it, at all. And if you've ever been on a site as a single female, it's at least 10 times worse.

You've learned to accept the rude messages. Good for you. Just because we have come to expect bad behaviour does NOT make said behaviour acceptable. And as I already said, I know I can't change other people's behaviour. That doesn't mean the site should promote and encourage bad behaviour.

I'm not having admin make changes. I'm requesting changes. Changes I think would improve the site. I'm not alone in my opinion, either. And if enough people express agreement, perhaps the site owner will choose to make the change. And then those in the minority will have to learn to accept that.

I find it extremely ironic that you are telling me what I should and should not expect/accept because of what you have chosen to do all while telling me that we should all live and let live. If you want to accept rude messages as par for the course, I'm not stopping you. So why do you feel the need to tell me what changes I have the right to request?

Calm down, this isn’t a personal attack on you.  I was mearly making the point that your personal opinion may not be the same as everyone else’s.  You could know 20people who have the same feeling but that is such a small percentage of members of this site.  

Good luck in your search jsquared 

@Friends4Life ~ The way I've written our profile, the whole thing is pretty much a code word. LOL I know instantly whether someone has read our profile or not based on the content of their message. Nothing has been block-worthy so far (on this profile), but I have added a LOT of profile notes because I want to keep the history without having to star the message. My other profile is a single female profile, I block several people a day on that one. It's insane. And when I block someone there, I add a note about them/him from this profile.

I hate the Wink feature. Basic and Premium members can block them, too. We never use the Wink feature and I have customized our Wink to basically say, "Sorry, we clicked the button by accident." I have chosen not to block Winks, though, for two reasons. One, receiving a Wink tells me something about them instantly. Two, I don't like the auto-responder text. I've made a suggestion that we be allowed to customize that.

So do people actually tell you that they received a Wink bounce and still don't bother to read your profile and respect what's written there? Wow!

I'm a web developer and have found a number of actual bugs. I've submitted these bugs as well as suggestions. They have said that they really appreciate all my feedback. Their statements have been more than the polite form letter type stuff except for one suggestion where they basically said "we'll take it under advisement", so I believe they are sincere. However, as a developer, I know changes take a lot of time and money. Unless you've got Google/Facebook resources, it's slow going.

They made the photo verification search more prominent and made it available only to people who are themselves verified. Unfortunately, it appears to have had zero effect so far, in my area at least. They did say that they were considering offering a week of trial Premium to people who verify. So they are trying.

I know plenty of people do read profiles. I have seen a reduction in noise when I tweak our profile. The main problem is that finding genuine people on a dating site who are also compatible is like finding a needle in a haystack, which is why I don't use these sites to find potential partners. For me, these sites are an extension of the real world rather than a doorway into the real world.

@Annandbruno24 ~ No need to calm down. You are apparently reading tone where there is none. Interesting take on my words.

I, however, took your words at face value. You told me that I was making assumptions (which was an assumption itself), told me that I was wrong, told me that I should accept rude message like you do. And I merely pointed out that it's very ironic that you feel it's not your place to stop people from jumping into your inbox and including you in their fantasies without your permission, but you have no problem telling me how I should feel, think, and act when I simply state my feelings on a public forum and make a suggestion -- not demand -- to a site I have just as much right to as any other member.

So do people actually tell you that they received a Wink bounce and still don't bother to read your profile and respect what's written there? Wow! 

Yes! The wink-bounce is included in the message chain, if they are responding to the bounce, we can see it was initiated from a wink.