It's not just here, it is at the clubs as well. Single women are welcome all the time. Single men are often relegated to specific days/times and sometimes have to be brought as a guest of a couple in order to get in. And then, when they are allowed in there is often lots of chatter about "all the single men" and people not liking having them there. We, on the other hand, are one of those couples who DO want single guys. We have no interest in including another woman in the mix. We look for guys only, in any quantity LOL The restriction on single guys at clubs makes it difficult for us LOL
Though we want single guys, I do understand what the reasons for no single guys may be and I think there are several. Traditionally, swinging is seen as a couple with couple activity. Perhaps having only couples gives a semblance of comfort and removal of threat and insecurity. There may be an element of male on male phobia. There may be the fact that men want to get laid .... and if you are a male in a couple and want to experience a different female you aren't going to get that with MFM. Also, and I think this may actually be the biggest reason, some single men have given the rest a bad rep by being overly aggressive/pushy, not respecting the couple's boundaries and not backing off when told there is no interest. On here, I have also noticed what was described above, in that even though it is clearly stated on my profile that I do not play without my partner, single guys (or married guys wanting to play alone) still attempt to get me alone. The biggest rule to follow in swinging is keep it consensual .... which meant, "no means no" and that's that. So, to all the single guys out there, if one couple is not interested in your advances, just move on. There are lots of others so keep looking. Those of us who want guys only are out there, you just have to find us
I'll jump into the conversation to make a few observations. I mean no disrespect to JSC or GBgirl, but I find it hard to believe that men are trying to play with you alone. Let me rephrase that. I can believe it, I'm just stunned that they try.
Personally, I assume that if a couple with a straight man is considering adding a second male, it's to lavish all the attention on her. I think that's part of the intimacy to which Nakedfun refers. Incidental man on man contact may happen, but it shouldn't be a big deal if they're focused on the lady.
My advice, Cannonbolt, just accept that many couples won't advertise or overtly seek a single male to join them. Obviously there are those that will, so if you get the chance, be respectful and polite.
it's all about and attitude so far as we're concerned. We love MFM. Single guys, act like a gentleman and remember, the chase is all important! A lady has to be seduced, her desire is not always instant and needs nurturing. If you come in like a hurricane, it's 'baton down the hatches' for us.
Well, from a single male point of view, seduction is conversation and yes single men sometimes will step outside the boundaries of trying to lure the wife away for a rendezvous, but I find that is because they are young and horny. The one aspect through my experience is through maturity and set rules of conduct, after the initial meeting and everyone is comfortable or click together, is when you proceed to further in the adventure. But also ladies, it is you who set those rules because if you are the centre of attention, then it is you who is the queen of the moment. But if the encounter is bi-situational, what happens, happens. The seduction is played out by all parties. But through communicating, everyone should get an understanding of who is who in the zoo. I have been with, MFM, FMF. and a few other situations, and it still comes down to speaking to each other and understanding all involved where all have a wonderful time.
Unfortunately some bad apples painted all of us with a is hard to find but couples that understand will invite you into their world. They are not all judgemental. A lot in the online world are also fake so you need to weed them out. Men using women or couple profiles are very common. I found this out after I met with my first couple on AFF. Just be patient and be very respectful if you get an invite.
We are a relatively new couple who have played almost exclusively with single guys so far. That is in fact how we got into the lifestyle by living out the mrs fantasies and it's going really well so far. We have been fortunate enough to reach out to very respectful humble guys who are happy just to be invited. There are always going to be individuals with unrealistic expectations, hidden motives and selfish wants and needs. These people exist in all facets of swinging life spotting these people avoiding them and gravitating towards positive people is the key to having fun. If I could give advice to the single guys it would be be patient, be humble, be positive and good things will come your way.
As a single Bi male I get even more rejection if you will. I totally respect couples wishes when they say NO SINGLE MALES. I find it often humorous when couples say no Bi males. As if at 61 I'm going to be hooking up with a guy that is ripped and toned to the nines. Most these couple you couldn't pay me to touch "hubby". The trick is you have to consider the source and move on. I don't seem to have a problem finding like minded couples. You can't take it personally its the way it is.