any advice for possible first time swingers?
be Picky. if there is the SLIGHTEST doubt or uncertainty from either of you...back up. TALK to each other...and then talk some more... if you and your spouse are not on the same page then you will be in a pile of issues. dont rush and dont do anything you dont want too...and do NOT expect to be jumping in to bed with people whenever you like a profile. some couples are years in and havnt found that match. its not a bad thing...when you find the right folk...its WELL worth the wait!!!
Enjoy it..its fun!!!
Baby Steps. Assuming this works great for you both, it's something you'll revisit time and again. Don't "Go For Broke" right off the bat, or it'll get old faster. Enjoy every step, and build on your last experience.
Develop a Safe Word (even if it's just a gesture, a look, or a phrase) that lets you communicate with your partner if you need to extract yourself from something and don't want to hurt someone's feelings. (I've heard enough couples say they wanted to stop but didnt want to cause an issue so they 'took one for the team', and had a less than stellar result). Likewise, easy way to indicate to your partner that you're a go if they are, again without the other people knowing what you're saying. ("Boy could I go for some strawberries right now!" - strawberries are known as an aphrodisiac so could be used as a "I'm Good To Go" indicator. Does this make sense? lol
We have a few rules we play by. Some of them have been a little bit flexible over the years depending on situations and comfort level but one rule we never break is the Power of Veto.
Either of us can play the veto card at any time and no matter what is happening, the other honours it. Period. No sulking, no whining. It might suck for one of us in that moment, and it's okay to be disappointed. Over the last 14 years the veto card has been played around 10 times (let's be honest...most of those were by Mrs Blonde) and it has saved us from creating unneeded drama between us.
Welcome Leed24! We have a friend who goes to a "darts league" in Ancaster. People play darts, but it's really a social get together for swingers. I have never been, but it is a great way to meet people and ask a lot of questions.
The best thing we did when starting was get to know an experienced couple and ask a lot of questions. It really helped us figure out the swinging world quickly. If you are interested, send us a PM and I can give you some contact info.